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January 1, 2008

Auld Lang Syne

Here's a lovely Auld Lang Syne for you to enjoy. And another. Are you having a happy new year yet? How about now?

I am. I was assigned to write a bit about Bruce LaBruce's new gay zombie flick Otto; or, Up With Dead People. My hunt for fresh details (or even a trailer) was fruitless, so I decided to try to get in touch with LaBruce myself and see what was up with the movie.

To my great surprise, he got back to me right away-- so instead of a simple article announcing the upcoming premiere of the movie at Sundance, I got to break an actual interview with the filmmaker. Bruce was incredibly gracious and I hope his movie raises hell on the festival circuit.

As for the rest of the year, we'll see. I'll consider this a good omen.

December 20, 2007

The Missing Ingredient

I'm perpetually struggling to keep up with everything I should see and do (order new contact lenses, get cat neutered, see There Will Be Blood) but better late than never, especially when it comes to getting around to seeing films like Paprika:

December 16, 2007

Miss Landmine Angola 2008

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"Ana Diogo stands on a beach lit with the col-ours of sunset in Luanda, the capital of Angola, wearing a simple white dress and bracelets on both wrists.

Her right foot is buried in the warm sand. What is left of her left leg, which she lost in an explosion in 1984 while tending fields, is hidden beneath her knee-length skirt. Leaning on a cane and with her head tilted left, she poses for the camera with a shy smile and a "Miss Landmine" sash.

The beauty pageant is the work of Morten Traavik, a Norwegian theatre and film director who sees it as a way of empowering disabled African women and delivering some much-needed attention to the land mine issue. Ten Angolan women are competing in the pageant for the grand prize: a leg prosthesis direct from Norway.

The controversial project is raising the ire of some activists and international aid agencies, who criticize the artist's depiction of African women as sensationalist and even exploitative.

The images are certainly jarring. The women are shown in typical fashion-industry poses -- lounging poolside, smiling on beaches, posed in chairs -- but all are missing legs, or parts of legs, or legs injured in land mine explosions.

The photographs now appear in the project's Miss Landmine magazine and are also travelling through Europe as an exhibition. Visitors to www.miss-landmine.org are encouraged to learn about the contestants and vote for their favourite. Each woman's profile contains her age, favourite colour and dream job (Ms. Diogo's: "Anything"). They also feature details of the women's American Apparel dresses and the types of land mines present in Angola, along with the cost of both. More than 2,000 online ballots have already been cast. Two of the land mine survivors will ultimately be crowned: A people's favourite and another selected by a jury in Luanda on April 4, the United Nations' Inter-national Mine Awareness Day..."

via MetaFilter



It so happens that landmines are an issue that I've always felt very strongly about; they are the very essence of terrorism, in that they strike civilian targets and are used to create a sense of dread and fear that linger in an area long after a war has ended. Same goes for cluster bombs, which the US still manufactures, sells, and uses. These weapons are specifically made to maim insted of kill, to slow advancing troops and overwhelm the enemy's medical resources. Unfortunately the price is mainly paid by civilians after the fact, as they attempt to resume their lives in former war-zones where cluster bomblets are left scattered in trees and mixed in debris, just out of plain sight.

Morten Traavik's beauty pageant may be a more sensational, cynical approach to raising awareness on this matter, but I applaud the effort and think it will make a greater impact on Americans and Europeans, who may prefer a gut-wrenching ironic twist to the gut-wrenching photos of victims that populate the usual anti-mine campaigns and make one want to just look away.

Which contestant will you vote for?

See also: Adopt-a-minefield.

December 10, 2007

Letter From Tulgey Wood

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And, as in uffish thought he stood,
The Jabberwock, with eyes of flame,
Come whiffing through the tulgey wood,
And burbled as it came!

I've been looking for an excuse to buy something from Black Phoenix Alchemy Lab for quite a while. Finally Tex's birthday came around I was able to buy him the Jazz Funeral he never knew he'd needed: "Bittersweet bay rum, bourbon, and a host of funeral flowers with a touch of graveyard dirt, magnolia and Spanish Moss."

So as not to waste a perfectly good inclusive $6.50 in shipping, I decided to select something for myself to try as well, and settled on Jabberwocky from their collection based on characters from Alice in Wonderland and Through the Looking Glass: "An earthy yet buoyant scent: pine, eucalyptus and orange."

After the initial rush of selection (and during my lengthy wait for them to hand-mix and ship my order) I began to have second thoughts. I realized that the description of Jabberwocky that had sounded so appealing in the context of their site could also easily describe the scent of any number of kitchen floor polishes. And so I held my breath for weeks, wondering if my imagination had gotten the best of me.

Today was the day of truth. While the jury's still out on whether Jazz Funeral will be too flowery for Tex (I sort of doubt it-- it's got an avuncular bite to it that I think he'll find amusing), I have almost accidentally sussed out my own perfect scent. Jabberwocky is every bit as whiffling and manxome a fragrance as I could have hoped. In fact, this process made me realize that it's been many years since I tried to smell like anything at all; I haven't had much use for a cologne or even much of a deodorant since I arrived in NYC. So into the world I go, projecting myself odoriferously as a monstrosity with eyes of flame, burbling as I go.

I would be remiss to close this entry without mentioning that BPAL enclosed four free samples of my order, 1/32 oz. vials that they call Imps' Ears
. So I got to sample their Pain, Phobos, Robin Goodfellow, and Embalming Fluid.
I have to say, that's about the smartest strategy an online perfumier could ever think of to keep people coming back for fresh helpings of god-knows-what. At least, until we have the technology that lets my monitor burp a cloud of Marquise de Merteuil into my face.

November 28, 2007

Dream-Notes From Behind the Teeth

Bone Parlour (Set)


There is a new girl across the hall who has long hair just like mine. I saw her through the crack where my wall does not quite reach the door. Her dress is old and too small and makes a real woman out of her girl's figure. We are so practically the same person that it is nothing to follow her in, to kiss in her bedroom and tell stories. She shows me the truth, shakes the hair back from her face so that I can see teeth grown into barbs, dissolved translucent like rattlesnake fangs, but venomless, fragile. This bracken mouth startles and intrigues me, for example, how do her lips survive? She must either be very careful or naturally soft-spoken to keep from gnashing them.

She explains about the teeth. I wasn't always like this. They grew in when I found my voice. She plays the harp and sings, demonstrating the swamp-crackle of those jaws opening and closing delicately around vowels, like swallowing eggs whole, spitting out the shells. The teeth are a curse. The room is a red gem around us, all of the air outside the lampshade is semi-solid, all the air inside it is combusting. This terrible curse. Her normal, God-given teeth elongated as she learned to play, and ran like icicles as she sang. Gradually the horror abated and she became used to these stalactites gleaming wetly, curving forward and out so as to penetrate the tightest smile.

I brush her hair in the lamplight, brushing the red light into it so that it shines molten, blood and gold. We will find a way to break this curse, I promise. And she sings for me especially now, with real hope that I am telling the truth.

November 19, 2007

Runaway Pond

Runaway Pond Memorial


I'm a sucker for roadside memorials. This weekend I saw the Runaway Pond memorial just outside Barton, VT:

"On June 6, 1810, workers intending to create a new outlet from Long Pond north to the Barton River, instead, unintentionally caused the banks of the entire body of water to give way. This resulted in a huge flood throughout the Barton River Valley. The valley drops 600 feet from Runaway Pond to Orleans for an average of about 40 feet per mile.

The results of this can still be seen today in the Village of Barton and elsewhere. One of the laborers, Spencer Chamberlain, ran ahead of the flood to warn people at the mill just in time to save their lives. In fact, no lives were lost. This heroic act is commemorated each year on Glover Day (the first day of August) by a road race following the path of the river." [Wikipedia]


I couldn't help but be reminded of a similar (but more catastrophic) industrial accident over a hundred years later, the Boston Molasses Flood of 1919:

"The Boston Molasses Disaster, also known as the Great Molasses Flood or The Great Boston Molasses Tragedy, occurred on January 15, 1919, in the North End neighborhood of Boston, Massachusetts in the United States. A large molasses tank burst and a wave of molasses rushed through the streets at an estimated 35 mph (56 km/h), killing 21 and injuring 150. The event has entered local folklore, and residents claim that on hot summer days the area still smells of molasses."[Wikipedia]


Stopping to see the Runaway Pond memorial was Ken's spur-of-the-moment decision, a quick stop on our way out of town. He couldn't have known how symbolic the gesture was; the night before I had been restless with nightmares (as usual). In the dream I'd had just before waking up, Manhattan was beset by intermittent underground explosions that caused water lines to rupture and buildings to collapse. There would be a rumble, a sudden rush of water, and then a nearby building would shudder to its knees. My friends and I struggled to get uptown, having to zigzag through the city as our way became blocked by new gushers. I told Tex about the dream before breakfast, but, in the true nature of dreams, I didn't remember it at all a couple hours later as I photographed this monument. In fact, I only made the connection a few moments ago as began compiling links for this post.

Our dreams are the conversation we're having with ourselves about our life. Mere words barely even begin to stretch the capacity of our minds for this dialogue, and are dismissed too easily-- sometimes you need to feel and hear that water thundering behind you in order to get whatever point youre trying to make, to scare you into remembering, heeding, and ruminating on certain subjects later on when you're awake. In order for a dream to have power over you in broad daylight, it has to infect you with something you can't find anywhere else, so that you'll return to yourself night after night for the next bout of witty repartee with your unknowable self.

November 16, 2007

The Thousand-Year Song

Longplayer is a 1000 year long piece of music. It started playing on 31st December 1999 and won't repeat itself until 31st December 2999.

We are disposable creatures that dream of endurance. We are enduring creatures that play at being ephemeral. Both of these sentences are equally untrue.

Judgment

November 1, 2007

Everyday Attire

Halloween


I don't normally attempt emergency costumes; if I haven't been planning it since July, I'm just not into it. I needed to make an exception, however, because I was going to see the B-52's play at the Roseland Ballroom, and you do NOT go see the B-52's on Halloween without a costume. It just seems sort of heretical to even consider it. So I made this costume out of neckties, which I happened to have a stash of thanks to Lucy; the mask is made of the wide and narrow ends of ties, as well as my late grandmother's jewelry. I wore four neckties at my throat, one as a belt, and then wrapped up in the scarf I made last year out of seven more. So my face, neck and chest were literally writhing with ties, while the rest of me was covered in regular dress clothes (which function no less as a costume in my daily use of them).

Putting together costumes like this isn't an attempt to be scary, or even to show off (though these are often interesting side-benefits of wearing them). In my perfect world, this is how people dress every day. Rather than buy garments that come in a shallow spectrum of types, with which we contort ourselves into seeing as an endlessly wide variety, as we do now, we would truly gather and assemble our accoutrements from the full spectrum of human ingenuity, and present distinctive faces to the world. You could imitate, invent, or hide just as freely as you do now, but more effectively and more specifically. When I leave the house wearing clothes or costumes that I've made, I feel relief. Last night I went out in ties, which is to say, I went out in no costume at all.

A lot of my costumes are just designed around themes or certain wearable elements, so I'm not "being" anyone else. I get irritated when people come up to me and say, "So, what are you?" Yeah, I know, people are just being friendly, or are really trying to figure out the reference they think they're missing, and I AM in a freaky looking get-up, after all. Even so, I manage to resist the impulse to walk up to many unfamiliar people throughout the year and ask, "What are you??" If I don't know what someone's deal is, I generally hang back and observe them and let my imagination take over. This year it only happened once, at the concert (though I saw and overheard many other people trying to figure it out). This woman ran up to me smiling and gushing alcohol vapors. OH I LOVE IT. SO WHAT ARE YOU, ANYWAY? Smiling invisibly under my mask, I told a half-truth: that this is what I wear every day.

So, anyone have ideas yet for next year?

Halloween

October 29, 2007

Living Like Weasels

"A weasel is wild. Who knows what he thinks? He sleeps in his underground den, his tail draped over his nose. Sometimes he lives in his den for two days without leaving. Outside, he stalks rabbits, mice, muskrats, and birds, killing more bodies than he can eat warm, and often dragging the carcasses home. Obedient to instinct, he bites his prey at the neck, either splitting the jugular vein at the throat or crunching the brain at the base of the skull, and he does not let go . One naturalist refused to kill a weasel who was socketed into his hand deeply as a rattlesnake. The man could in no way pry the tiny weasel off and he had to walk half a mile to water, the weasel dangling from his palm, and soak him off like a stubborn label.

"And once, says Ernest Thompson Seton--once, a man shot an eagle out of the sky. He examined the eagle and found the dry skull of a weasel fixed by the jaws to his throat. The supposition is that the eagle had pounced on the weasel and the weasel swiveled and bit as instinct taught him, tooth to neck, and nearly won. I would like to have seen that eagle from the air a few weeks or months before he was shot: was the whole weasel still attached to his feathered throat, a fur pendant? Or did the eagle eat what he could reach, gutting the living weasel with his talons before his breast, bending his beak, cleaning the beautiful airborne bones?"

Read Annie Dillard's full essay here. Why should you? Because you will feel better about yourself, whether you're a weasel or not.

We have a thing or two to learn from clams too, it turns out.



October 23, 2007

Build Your Wild Self

Baby Baphomet

T
he New York Zoos website has a program that lets you build an image of yourself and then add animal features to it. [via MetaFilter] I found myself with horns and wings in a blink, and before I quite knew what was happening, I was a Muppet Babies-esque version of Baphomet.

It's possible that no image has been as abused or misunderstood as that of Eliphas Levi's Baphomet, pictured below. Originally published in 1854, it's been burned into the public imagination as a portrayal of the Devil himself, and has been heavily leaned on in movies and shows to indicate Satanism and the most repugnant, bestial depths of evil that humanity can sink to. However, Levi's own description of the icon presents a compelling figure that represents quite the opposite. To Levi, Baphomet is a complete portrait of human spirituality:

Baphomet

"The goat on the frontispiece carries the sign of the pentagram on the forehead, with one point at the top, a symbol of light, his two hands forming the sign of hermetism, the one pointing up to the white moon of Chesed, the other pointing down to the black one of Geburah. This sign expresses the perfect harmony of mercy with justice. His one arm is female, the other male like the ones of the androgyn of Khunrath, the attributes of which we had to unite with those of our goat because he is one and the same symbol. The flame of intelligence shining between his horns is the magic light of the universal balance, the image of the soul elevated above matter, as the flame, whilst being tied to matter, shines above it. The beast's head expresses the horror of the sinner, whose materially acting, solely responsible part has to bear the punishment exclusively; because the soul is insensitive according to its nature and can only suffer when it materializes. The rod standing instead of genitals symbolizes eternal life, the body covered with scales the water, the semi- circle above it the atmosphere, the feathers following above the volatile. Humanity is represented by the two breasts and the androgyn arms of this sphinx of the occult sciences."
I've left the wikipedia notation intact in case you're not familiar with the Kabbalistic terms. The words on Baphomet's arms are SOLVE (dissolve) and COAGULA (congeal), which carry alchemical significance. Levi's description makes any primitive, bestial, or evil inerpretations of this icon almost impossible. It is a meditation on wholeness, a composite of the spiritual human's features as he attempts to approach the divine.

Incidentally, last year about this time, I underwent a transformation similar to today's, only in person. I began working on my costume for our "Horns Only" party, and by the time I was done, I realized that I was drafting my own love letter of sorts to the strange and mysterious Baphomet. I know one doesn't have to wait until this time of year to meditate on or build one's own Wild Self, but it seems important to post a reminder (even if it's just a self-reminder) that in October you get a free pass. Don't forget the horns.

VII

October 12, 2007

The Law of the Jungle

This photo and comment on Muckster's flickr page made my whole day. It's the sheer beauty of NYC's ethical code in action:

banana lady
"She sat down at my table and started eating a banana without asking, so I took her picture without asking either."

October 10, 2007

Notes to the City


Dear New York:


1. I know my bag is open. The reason it's open is that there is nothing of value inside. Currently my bag contains a bottle of juice, a book, eye drops, lip balm, a handkerchief, one kung fu shoe, and a decal that someday I will get around to putting on my window to alert firemen that there are pets in my house. So you can see why I'm not all zipped up and locked down. In fact, I may want a clear shot at that hankie or lip balm without having to grapple tiny zippers with my big crude hands.

2. Do not touch me. When someone on the subway or on the street suddenly taps me on the shoulder or shouts for my attention, I do not assume they are helpful and concerned about the security of my belongings, or that they think that I'm especially attractive. I assume that they are crazed and dangerous, hurling themselves at the bars of the social contract that allows us to play at being grownups together. If I don't know you and you're touching me on the subway, you'd better be giving me CPR, or dragging me out of the tracks. (In which case, you are welcome to the contents of my bag. Perhaps you have pets?) Or you had better be doing something dirty that I can at least shock my friends with in the retelling and then secretly treasure in my heart.

3. Last month after a lunchtime nap in Central Park, a wasp the size of a golf ball rode on the back of my shirt all the way to my office, and stung me in the spine when I sat down in my chair. This means I managed to walk several blocks in one of the most crowded areas of the city with a large venomous alien life form clinging to me, plainly yellow against my black shirt, and not one person stopped me to let me know. So fuck you, New York. Keep your eyes and hands to yourself, I know what I'm doing.


Yours truly,


Tom


PS. I do kind of like it when you point out that there is money actually hanging out of my pocket.

October 9, 2007

Flowers In My Hair

You know you are headlong into fall when suddenly music has the keys to all your emotions again. This new song by Jill Sobule has me dreaming about the impossibility of moving West... someday. Jill's ability to peer into the worlds of anyone she meets is unrivaled, and having gotten my first acupressure massage just last week by a woman just like the one in the song, I feel a special ache listening to this:



Jill's download page

October 8, 2007

The Strength To Live

polar


"In 1897, pioneering Swedish balloonist Salomon August Andrée and two companions took off for the north pole in a hot air balloon. In 1930 their bodies were found, along with records of their expedition." via MetaFilter

Reading the tale of their wondrous and hopeless adventure (and looking at the photos they took) really cast a spell over me. Those last two months together wandering the ice after the balloon crashed, keeping each other company and persisting onward long after you'd think death would have been inevitable-- it's perhaps the best and worst of everything life has to offer a man.

And tonight I am just here, with a book to read and not much else to do, no polar bears to eat or sheets of ice to climb. Life may be too short for our tastes most of the time, but it can also be too long by half.

I've drawn The Hierophant two days in a row. Apparently I didn't learn whatever lesson I was supposed to learn yesterday...

hierophant

October 3, 2007

Be the Empire You Want To Be


W
hen I was a child, there were two eras in my life: pre-mall and post-mall. The Superstition Springs Mall was built when I was in fifth or sixth grade, and it changed the very fabric of what it meant to hang out with friends or spend time with family. It was a shiny gem on our barren sub-suburban horizon, and it certainly opened my mind to the availability of all kinds of things I never knew I should want. My friends and I memorized its geography and its contents, its people. Later we joined them as one by one we got jobs in this or that Waldenbooks or The Limited. The mall's understated background became the setting for the tepid drama of our lives.

That's why I think I had such a strong reaction to this group of artists featured on MetaFilter today. They found a space near a storage area in their local mall and built a small apartment into it, a bit at a time-- and then they lived there off and on for four years before getting caught. While the story is sensational, their essays about how (and why) malls are designed to interact with us really hit home. Here's an excerpt from their site:

General Growth Properties, LLC, the owner of the Providence Place Mall, as well as 224 other malls across the country, brands its interiors with images that aim to uniformly “define” its consumers with a model shopping identity.
General Growth Properties owns and manages 225 shopping malls across the country, assigning each one an advertising identity that aims to “define” both the shopping experience and the shopper. General Growth has four different themes, each one showcasing a different brand of woman and her lifestyle “needs” - a feminine icon/mall mascot to distinguish an otherwise indistinguishable collection of multinational retail shops and generic architecture.

The inventor of the enclosed shopping mall, architect Victor Gruen, explicitly designed the mall for women (Baldauf 2007). In the context of the post-WWII boom in suburban living, Gruen sought to provide a spatial remedy for “female isolation” by offering housewives a sanitized version of the economically and racially polarized city – somewhere safe where their husbands wouldn’t worry about them and they wouldn’t be afraid to bring their kids. The mall was founded on this principle of giving women a chance “to get out of the house,” and experience the spatial efficiency, climate control, and surveillance, of quasi-public shopping space.

Based on these “needs,” Gruen established a template for shopping malls that has been replicated around the world - two to three department stores anchoring an enclosed ring of inward facing shops, surrounded by a sea of parking (Underhill 2004). The “innocent” pretense of providing women with a pleasant, “public” place to accomplish their long list of household errands provided the perfect cover for the psychological tests Gruen also ran proving that the mall detained otherwise distractible women shoppers to linger longer, and buy things impulsively. The design recipe included escalators, artificial lighting, restaurants and rest areas, as well as decorative icons to provide a hint of location and history, such as clock towers, stained glass, fountains and plants. Women were to be spared the sight of service entries, construction, loading docks, and refuse. Without anything to taint their clean shopping-scape, women would spend more time and money inside the mall, and they would be a captive audience for the advertisements of the shops and mall itself.

It is so easy to confuse public space with private property, especially when that space is tailor-made to make you feel that way. When you spend time there, however, you're no longer starring in your own life, you're playing the role they designed for you. Every possible decision you can make while you're inside has been theorized about and planned for. When you finally decide to leave, plans have been set in motion that delay this as long as possible. To an extent, you are still yourself, but by entering this private property, you agree to have the total amount of possible experiences you can have diminished, to allow other forces beyond your understanding to subtly govern the time and money you spend. Meanwhile, the mall itself contributes nothing of value to your local culture or community, except for the status that it has conferred upon them by its presence-- a status that was invented in the process described in the essay above, to sell more stuff.

Regardless of what you think of the artistic statement made by living in a mall so big that it takes four years for the management to notice, you have to admit that we assume far more benevolence than is wise when it comes to the forces that create these spaces that we spend so much of our lives in. Why don't we question them more, or play with their meaning the way these artists have? These places may be private property, but the way we experience them is as "ours". And yet that experience has been built into them from the beginning in hopes that we would come to the party and never leave.

Every morning, I draw a tarot card from the deck. It gives me something to think about on the train, a symbol or theme to contemplate when I am waiting for the line to move, or the people around me to stop talking so loud. It's a rope-ladder that I always leave dangling, in case I need to climb up into my own head in a hurry. Today it was the much misunderstood Death card, that card that my friend Eric always describes as merely a door that once passed through, can never be returned through again. It is a drastic change in one's world or environment that can never be undone. Even so, it was a depressing sight at seven in the morning.

I thought about it today as I slumped in my chair at work. I thought about it as I waited in the churning line to descend into the subway at rush hour, the escalators having been shut down for repairs and funneling everyone onto the narrow stairs. I thought about it when I woke from my nap unwilling and perhaps even unable to muster the energy for my kung fu class. But in class, I was able to transcend my flesh. And even better, I was still alive, which meant that once the transcendence took place, my body went along for the ride and found itself working harder and more capably than either of us thought possible. As I did chain punches during the last five minutes of class, I thought of what I'd read about malls, about the spaces that are provided for us by people who want our money, and how we grow out of them (hopefully) as we discover needs that the gorgeous, comfortable mall experience doesn't satisfy. I thought of the Death card. On nearly every version of the card, a skeleton rides a horse victoriously, bearing a flag or banner. A thought flashed through my mind: "Death is the final victory in our lifelong battle against not just our surroundings, but our own flesh."

Just because that victory is inevitable doesn't mean we shouldn't fight for it a little at a time, as much as we can along the way. I'm lucky to have my kung fu class to remind me of this several times a week, and I hope wherever you are, there are places you can go to escape the devouring world and taste it yourself.

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