August 27, 2007

Adult Situations

Apparently I am capable of being an adult sometimes, no matter what you may think of my socks or my incoherent personal philosophy.

Recently Kate posted Best Life Magazine's 8 Foods You Should Eat Every Day to MetaFilter, and it made me start to look askance at my usual breakfast. (Apparently I'm not the only one.) Suddenly my eight ounces of Friendship lowfat cottage cheese with pineapple derivative wasn't looking like such a good thing. Please save me from my breakfast, I thought. I have been starting to dread the flavor of it in the morning, and little plastic tubs that I feel too much Global Warming guilt to throw away have piled up in my cabinet to heights that the Collyer Brothers would approve of. Me and my cabinet have had it up to here with cottage cheese. But at $1.49 each ($7.50 a week), how could I beat it?

So determined to blaze new nutritional trails, I came home from the store today with a box of McCann's Irish Oatmeal, a half pound of walnuts, and a jar of blueberry jam. It so happens that one cup of dry oats and a half cup of crushed walnuts fits neatly into an 8 oz. cottage cheese container, so now I have five portions on deck. All I have to do is stir one into a cup of vanilla soymilk, add two tablespoons of blueberry jam, and scorch it in the microwave, and voila! Blueberry oatmeal with walnuts. Three of the eight things I am supposed to eat every day. Cost of oats, walnuts, jam, and soymilk add up to slightly less than what I was forking over to Friendship. Even though it's after one AM and I'm standing here in my underwear stacking MRE's in my kitchen, I feel strangely capable and hope that new breakfast equals new hope for the future.

At this rate, it's only a matter of time until my goddam socks match.


Anonymous said...


oh, and apparently never sleeping again!

Tom said...

It's almost noon and I'm still not hungry yet!Normally I have to get a snack around ten thirty or I'll never make it until lunchtime. This was the best idea ever.

PS: Kate, go to bed.

Clifton Smith said...

spinach and eggs. yes.

Kyozan's Monkey said...

I reread the thread on your personal philosophy hoping for incoherence, sadly, you are merely in error.

I give you Nietzsche, perhaps occasionally incoherent in his vicious sarcasm, but rarely wrong:

134 All credibility, all good conscience, all appearance of the truth come only from the senses.

Tom said...

What's so funny about that thread is that I said very little at all, just tried to express that extremism leads to throwing out all kinds of babies with assorted bathwaters. My actual personal philosophy didn't even make an appearance.

I love Nietzche as much as the next guy, but replace the word "senses" with the word "Bible" in that sentence and you'll see how meaningless short, universal statements are in shedding light on discussions.

I'm not being bitchy. I love you!!